My Blog

A lonely road, crossed another cold state line
Miles away from those I love
Purpose hard to find
While I recall all the words you spoke to me
Can’t help but wish that I was there
Back where I’d love to be

There’s nothing here for me on this barren road
There’s no one here while the city sleeps
And all the shops are closed
Can’t help but think of the times I’ve had with you
Pictures and some memories will have to help me through

Some search, never finding a way
Before long, they waste away
I found you, something told me to stay
I gave in, to selfish ways
And how I miss someone to hold
When hope begins to fade…

Dear God the only thing I ask of you is
To hold her when I’m not around,
When I’m much too far away
We all need that person who can be true to you
I left her when I found her
And now I wish I’d stayed
‘Cause I’m lonely and I’m tired
I’m missing you again oh no
Once again

I tried to be perfect,
But nothing was worth it,
I don’t believe it makes me real.
I thought it’d be easy,
But no one believes me,
I meant all the things I said.
I tried to be perfect,
It just wasn’t worth it,
Nothing could ever be so wrong.
It’s hard to believe me,
It never gets easy,
I guess I knew that all along.

This place is so empty,
My thoughts are so tempting,
I don’t know how it got so bad.
Sometimes it’s so crazy,
that nothing can save me,
But it’s the only thing that I have.

If you believe it’s in my soul,
I’d say all the words that I know,
Just to see if it would show,
That I’m trying to let you know,
That I’m better off on my own.

If only
you were here
open your eyess trough the white blue wide sky
through a long river goes
because I
just wanna let you see what inside this heart
If only
you were here
we will dancing like we used to be
under silver moon shining
with a starlight arround us
because I
want to hold you forever and dont want to lose you from now
if only
you were here
I want to keep this flame and paint all our love to heaven
because I
just want to say I love you with all my heart…

Sesaat lalu engkau masih disini, kini entah dimana engkau berada.
Aku hanya bisa mematung, membisu, menahan luka pedih di dadaku
riuh rendah manusia seakan hanya dentuman desah dalam gemuruh di dada.
Segala cahaya di mataku berubah menjadi kegelapan hingga warna-warni
dunia tiada lagi berarti.Segala suara di telingaku berubah menjadi kebisuan
hingga hingar bingar kegaduhan tiada lagi mempengaruhi. Segala rasa bagiku
telah menjadi tawar hingga sentuhan apapun tiada menarik hati. Aku hanya
bisa mematung disini, ruang dan waktu tiada kuhitung lagi bahkan hidup mati tiada
kuambil peduli. Ditengah udara yang teramat panas wajahku justru memucat
& keringat yang mengalir di punggungku terasa dingin, begitu dinginnya
seakan gumpalan es yang diselipkan. Gigiku gemertak entah oleh gelisah, amarah, kecewa,
atau entah apa namanya. Apakah ini langkah menuju kegilaan? aku tersenyum getir
syukurlah kalau demikian karena kubayangkan setidaknya sebagai orang gila
daya tahanku mengahadapi masalah & persoalan akan lebih memiliki kemantapan.
Pikiranku, hatiku semuanya betarung mengajukan tawaran, akupun kebingungan
dan rasa binggung itu berubah menjadi rasa pedih yang tak tertanggungkan
kala aku tersadar KAU TIDAK AKAN ADA DI SISIKU… seakan sebilah pisau tajam
ditancapkan kedada. Rasa nyeri itu entah bagaimana menjelaskannya, bahkan
sekedar untuk bersimpuh pun aku tak mampu. Engkau tahu & aku pun tahu bagiku
selain dirimu adalah debu. Engkau tahu & aku pun tahu tiada lagi yang kupikirkan
selain tentangmu dan untukmu. Namun… mengapa ini harus terjadi tiada lagi sisa
hati yang kumiliki dan engkau meninggalkanku pergi. Kini harus bagaimana aku
menjalani hidup ini tanpa dirimu. Masa lalu kala engku belum masuk kedalam hidupku
kujalani hidup layaknya manusia biasa, namun keahadiranmu melupakan segalanya
aku hanya tahu bagaimana aku hidup bila kau disisiku. Aku tak paham, tanpa dirimu
akankah aku bisa bertahan. Pedih yang menyakitkan ini dimanakah aku
harus mencari penawarnya? Engkau adalah jantung hatiku lantas bagaimana
hidup ini tanpa jantung dan hati? engkau adalah daya dan semangat hidupku,
lantas bagaimana hidup ini tanpa daya dan semangat itu? engakau adalah
nyawaku sepeninggalmu masihkah aku berhak menyandang gelar kehidupan?
engkau adalah pelita hidupku lalu kemana arah yang kutuju, tanpamu hanya gelap
yang hadir di sekelilingku…

Alone for a while I’ve been searching trough the dark
For traces of love that you left inside my lonely heart
To weave by picking up the pieces that remain
Melodies of life-love lost refrain

Our path they did cross though i can’t say just why
We met we laughed we held on fast and then we said goodbye
And who’ll hear the echoes of stories never told?
Let them ring out loud till they unfold

in my dearest memories I see you reaching out of me
though youre gone i still believe that you can call out my name

A voice from the past joining yours and mine
Adding of the layer of harmony
And so it goes on and on
To the sky beyond the flying birds forever and beyond

So far away see the bird as it flies
Glidding trough the shadows of clouds in the sky
I’ve laid my memories doyou remember loving me?
Leave them behind and see waht tomorrow bring

In my dearest memories do you remember loving me?
Was it fate that brought us close and now leave me behind

If I should leve this lonely word behind
Your voice will still remember our melody
now I know we’ll carry on
Melodies of life come circle round and grow deep in our heart
as long as we remember…

are you feeling fine?
nemurenai yoru ni wa kimi no maboroshiga…
she said “loving you make me happy every day”
ano koro to onajisa mujyaki na kao de hanashikakenaide
Tsunagatteite mo yokan shiteta kara saisho kara tabun
Tooi kako no koto sa oshietekureta wakare no imi
Itsu ni nareba ito wo tachikiri kimi wo norikoeru?
are you feeling fine?
nemurenai yoru ni wa kimi no maboroshiga…
she said “loving you make me happy every day”
nanigoto mo nai ka no you sekai wa maru boku wo nokoshite
Kagirinaku jiyuu..Tsukaenai kurai jikan wa stukenai
Harewataru hibi ni tozashiteite mo jiyuu dakedo
Ude wo nobashi DOOR wo hiraite wasurekaketa no ni….
are you feeling fine?
nemurenai yoru ni wa kimi no maboroshiga…
she said “loving you make me happy every day”
ano koro to onajisa mujyaki na kao de hanashikakenaide
Binetsu karuku dokoka kimi wo…
Imagoro kitto ki ni mo tomezu ni kimi wa yume no naka
are you feeling fine?
Muda na teikou wa yamete ashita e to mukaou
I said “loving you make me suffer every day”
Itsu no ma ni ka nemuri ni togirete kieta egao no mama de